After dropping off their children at their East Side private school one morning, Betsy and another mother shared a secret. And perhaps a little relieved. Betsy thought she was the only mother in their grade supporting a stay-at-home husband-especially one who refused to polish the surfaces. In , for example, wives earned more than their spouses in almost a third of married households where the wife worked. Yet this proud professional achievement often seems to have unhappy consequences at home.