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Posted by: Arall Posted on: 30.10.2020

Right now, my daughter has a lot of boy friends. Notice the space. Boys are her friends. They have playdates in our backyard and giggle over popsicles. As a mom who remembers all too well how painful the drama with girlfriends can be, I'm glad she enjoys her friendships with boys. But I'm not exactly holding out hope that this will last forever.

Notice the space. Boys are her friends.

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They have playdates in our backyard and giggle over popsicles. As a mom who remembers all too well how painful the drama with girlfriends can be, I'm glad she enjoys her friendships with boys. But I'm not exactly holding out hope that this will last forever. One day my daughter will begin to date.

The way it looks now, she will likely date boys although if it's girls, her father and I are fine with that too.

I'm not ready yet, but I'm getting there. But before any boy comes a'knockin', he might want to prepare himself No means no.

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Her father and I have been teaching her that she has the right to say "when" ever since she was young enough to be out of our sight. And she has my full permission to knee you in the nuts if you don't listen. An open door means an OPEN door. Not a door that isn't locked but is technically closed.

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Not a door that is so close to closed that you can't see in but you could push open. Condoms are not optional. I'm not an idiot; eventually my daughter will have sex. Hopefully it's later rather than sooner.

But no matter what she's using for protection, you're using something too, buddy. There is such thing as too much PDA. You will want to kiss. Hold hands. I get it.

7 rules for dating my teenage daughter

I was young once. But if you're groping my teenage daughter in public, she will be in trouble, and I will be telling your mother. Keep your hands off her neck.

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This joke begins with the most extraordinary Octopus you'll ever meet. The Day of Judgment came, and all the people in the world who were worthy reached heaven, where the heavenly angels divided them into men and women. Last Wednesday a passenger in a taxi heading for the airport leaned over to ask the driver a question What happens when Disney's beloved characters decide to visit your local mall?

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If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package because you're sure as heck not picking anything up. You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. May also interest you:. My Office Looks Just the Same Oh Wait Hilarious Joke. I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips.

Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open-minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise:.

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You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you. It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sportspolitics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls.

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This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry. As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget.

If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight.

Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house.

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Do not trifle with me. Be afraid.

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Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. Printed from www.

Aug 04,   The Rules for Dating my Daughter meme is not funny when you have a son. It's not funny when someone assumes your Star Wars watching, animal loving boy is a threat to anyone. So, Mr. Macho Rules for Dating my Daughter, I've got some feedback for you and your silly little rule list. Mar 07,   8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter Sea1Epis8 - By the Book - Duration: Rosaline Cross 41, views. Best of 8 Simple Rules (All Seasons) - Duration: Author: Rosaline Cross. Related search: 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter full episodes season all, 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter full episodes download, 8 Simple Rules for Dating My.

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