Can it work? Go to Page Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. Hello all, Need some advice. I am a 31 year old single guy. Live in NYC.
Even ten years one can start rationalizing. Yet 18 years is a tough one to justify. Having said that, a guy at 41 squiring a woman of 23 is far more controversial than a year-old man dating a year-old woman. There is an unofficial rule that exists, even though nobody seems to know where it originated.
This leads to some reasonable results. A year-old should date somebody at least A year-old should stick with someone at least For somebody aged 70, the bottom limit of respectability is The problem with this is that unofficial guidelines are exactly that.
So if 40 and 27 are acceptable, one could say that 41 and 26 are close enough. Yet soon after that, the slippery slope becomes 44 and 24, which can lead to Lolita situations and other felonies. Some may ask another question. If a man is 40, is dating a pair of year-olds equivalent to dating one year-old?
From a respectability standpoint, no. From a brag and go high-five your friends standpoint, yes. If the man is a billionaire, it comes with the territory.
In fact, the entire point of becoming a billionaire is for men to be unbound by the rules of everyday life that constrain the rest of us. When one is a septuagenarian billionaire, what else is there to do? Being a billionaire is not the real world, and even billionaires occasionally face consequences. Berlusconi has been accused of having sex with a woman under the legal age of consent.
That is rape in any language and has nothing to do with dating. In the real world of dating, there are few actual rules. Yet societal norms still exist. Half by seven may only be a guideline, but it is a useful one. Manage Newsletters. Click here for reprint permission. Click to Read More and View Comments. Almost always twice with my wife and once by myself. I have no issues with erections, and she seems to enjoy it.
So quality of sex is not as important as quantity? I mean, who the Hell has time to screw 2 or 3 times a day? If a man is doing it 3 times a day, he needs to get a life.
As a 52 year old guy, I think your problems are much deeper than the number! I have a physique better than most 20 or 30 year old guys - - and have more stamina and tenderness in the bedroom than them, as well. Sounds like your guy has given up, which is a state of mind, not a matter of age.
Yet another male unicorn! Seriously ever dude over 50 looks 35 and is in great shape right? Or at least all of those commenting on here! And they all have the stamina of 30 year olds. Quick to shoot down what these men say. These men exist. Maybe the problem is the outlet and not the plug.
Reading the comments of men in my opinion demonstrates the exact point I am trying to make. She also experiences physical changes that may make it difficult to have sex or require a change in how she does.
On the flip side is the male response to this age related decline I call it the 3ds defen denydeflect. How dare you accuse me of slowing down in bed. These is usually followed by a personal jab or name calling. Because men think all other men their age are stallions in bed. Men lie to each other about using the little blue pill and rarely if at all do men discuss this issue with each other.
What results is that men struggling with age related changes reach the conclusion that they are all along and something is clearly wrong with them. Or the women blame themselves thinking the decreases drive or ED is their fault.
Everybody will agree with you that both men and women have declined sex drives as they age. One thing that has stayed the same is my desire to have sex is just as strong as it was when I was younger. So the point is yes as we get older we will slow down but that does not mean that we cannot get better as we get older.
If all else fails then there is always a prescription to be had that can help in most cases. If sex is the only factor you are considering then you are probably right. It seems you put a lot of weight on looks, physical shape, and sexual performance for a happy marriage.
I was married 24 years to my younger wife before cancer took her several years ago. It was never an issue. Women can have all the sex they want to have without the need to get married. If you build your marriage on sex it is likely going to fail at some point regardless of any age gap. We are all going to experience health issues at some point, nobody is exempt from it.
Some of us maybe sooner than we would like, in my case my younger wives health declined. LOL john such a typical response from a man having problems in the bedroom. Telling it like it is is not mean spirited. I think YOUR husband might be the problem. My uncles and aunts, from both paternal and maternal side, on an average have an age gap of 10 years between them.
My grandparents had 14 years between them. In short, it depends on the people involved in the relationship.
Final, 31 year old man dating 45 year old woman know
This really helped me. I love my guy so much and he is so good to me. Right now I cannot imagine falling out of love with him and the thought of it brings me to tears. I am 31 and he is He still works out and is in great shape and I constantly worry about our future and taking the next step.
But the incompatibility in a few years is something I may not be prepared for. Now the thought of that is not attractive. I know we should call the quits now to save the heartache and time but I am terrified because he is the only man that has ever conquered me. But maybe because he is older. And we been together since, and yes we still love each other.
I was 19 and he was 32 when we began to date. I am in that situation now and trying to determine whether it makes sense to continue or whether I should just break it off. Good luck with your decision. And be like. Sigh fine. Or see yah and yeah that was great, I experienced that by myself!!! Wait Then why did.
Then ill be widow at an older age and die with out that grow old togther cause he already died quite a bit before I was close to aging in.
I was a cna geriatrics and am concerned of our future to where he married his future caretaker and ill be left screwed with angry underpaid. And withoutmy loving husband a hand to squeeze.
I know thats all. I could grow. I looove him. With what I said do i? Or am. I just depressed?
31 year old man dating 45 year old woman
Perhaps crazy Or honest. We alll die. But freaking crap I didnt want at allll to die that much earlier than my husband. Grow old together, not watch you grow hecka old slowly die while I slowly watch and grow a hurt back to now deal with alone and poor due to medication s and medical bills and funeral.
I wanted to be. Ive seen sooo many mourn the death of spousesand. I think being in the medical field had really really jaded me and I hope distorted my view. And this all crazy talk but. Not to mention honestly are you as fast as you were when you were 20s as in 60? Orrrrr 70s vers 30? Noooo the gap and body progression is real and when you hit 42 you age 6 months quicker every x amount.
I was a cna geriatrics and am concerned of our future to where he married his future caretaker and ill be left screwed. You already had your 20s why take another s cause when you 70 and theyre 55 thats a huge difference in those years especially. He could have found. Now im. With watching him.
The pain is soooo real. And ask allllll the time why. And I ask why 15 years. Didnt spell. I love my husband and he adores me. Not wanting to travel or go to functions is a problem in personality differences than age. You two may have been a bad fit but I think the age difference may have been a red herring here. Enjoying life is can occur are any age. A good indicator might be to meet the parents.
Genetics plays a big role and the lifestyle they live.
Yes, a 31 year old man can date a 43 year old woman. This isn't exactly unheard of or even strange. Is this what they both want? Yes. If not, don't do it. Don't be the type who usually doesn't date a particular person and then while you are dating. Apr 23, Need some advice. I am a 31 year old single guy. Live in NYC. Looking to settle down in the next couple of years. Ideally would love to find a partner in the age range. Lately I have been getting a lot of attention from the over 40 female crowd. Recently got some interest from a 46 year old coworker. Very attractive lady.
The advice I would give women dating older men is to make sure they stay fit, that makes a very big difference. Watch out for these red flags instead, his diet, is he fit, his parents looks is a great indicator, does he exercise, how much does he care about his looks and that applies to any age you date. She wants to be treated like a child. She wants to be immature. I can take care of myself financially for now and if we stay together longer I imagine us having a similar dynamic as any younger couple where we work together not just me living off of him.
Awesome words you write. We have been dating for 7 weeks. I separated 20 months ago from my wife of 23 years. I never imagined being with a woman 17 years my junior.
Dec 15, While the rule says that a year-old woman could date a year-old, most year-old women don't feel comfortable doing that, according to researchers. Women tend to stay much lower than the rule states is acceptable. If a woman's maximum age range is 40, she is more likely to date someone who is around The rule states that it is acceptable for year old women to date men who are up to 46 years old, but in reality, year-old women state that their max acceptable partner age would be less than. No. I don't think it's wrong at all. I'm 46 and my man, whom I live with is only thirty. He'll be thirty-one in October. I'm sixteen years older then him. Do you feel like it's wrong? Maybe cuz society lets an older man date a much younger woman a.
Not that it was out of the question, it just never entered my mind that I would be with a woman much younger than myself. We enjoy each other very much. Moreso me than her at the moment I Love her and want to spend what time I have left in this life soley with her. We have Many things in common, one of which, would be Very difficult to replicate. I have asked her if she has seen anyone else since we met and she told me no. That is reassuring, but I am very paranoid that she may toss me to the curb for another, possibly, younger guy.
This inspires me. I met him when I was 21 and he was So reading through most of the replies kind of makes me sad of course. We have so much in common and we have so much fun together. But I love the life I share with him. Reading through the comments makes me sad again when I think about surein 20 years I will be 43 and he will be Good luck to you and your man.
If both of you are clear about the most likely temporary nature of your relationship more power to you. Most relationships with a large age gap, whether the man or woman is older, tend not to last.
Eventually that age difference starts to matter. No one is immune to time. We get slower and less healthy.
Things may be all fun and laughs now but when you turn 33 and start to think about the fact that he is 60 you may feel very differently about the relationship.
At that point you may decide an attractive and vibrant 40 year old better suits your lifestyle, but your current man may not want to let you go. Thank you very much. Thanks again. My relationship with kind of been bumy. This comment really bothers me. As if men can only agree or see relevance when their age group or kind is the exact type of men referenced. They are willing to throw away long loving relationships with women for a night of lust.
Men this age will chest and justify it like no other age group. Risking family life and hurting his partner. You have to beg these men to get std test because they act as if their fragile little ego is so offended by something they should do anyway. They have never dealt with adversity. The slightest hardship will result in a nervous breakdown and the woman will be stuck babying them back to their male privilege health.
They are fake cultured. They travel the globe and take Snapchat but know nothing of the culture or people that they visit other than to sound pseudo cultured. They think experimenting with drugs is a romantic activity. No matter what socioeconomic class.
Older men are men. They are decisive. They know how to open doors, let a woman relax, be sensitive when needed and string where it counts.
Dec 31, A year-old should date somebody at least A year-old should stick with someone at least For somebody aged 70, the bottom limit of respectability is Jul 31, 31 year old woman dating a 21 year old man Ashlyn July 31, Martin-Cyr was apparent among friends can benefit when young women in. They later found out of killing of year-old man. I'm 41 years old lady, and have always been attracted to older guys since I was 18, my first boyfriend was 34 and I was just 18 years old and when I was. 34 years old I dated a 62 year old man and had a very good sex life, at that time that's what I needed but now at. 41 years old what I craved is companionship, affection not so much just sex.
Millennial men are ridiculous and also now highly feminized. I will pass! Material issues. Faster, easier, sex. I think you have a great point. But I have to add older men are better in bed too. I was 23 and my ex was 36and yes he robbed the cruddle. He wanted to mold me to what he wantedthe only trouble there is, I did grow up.
I Want Kids But My Husband Is Twice My Age - EXTREME LOVE
As for daddy issues. My dad was never around at my young age. I seriously had more fun with my ex. And the young shall grow. Write back when he is That made me roll my eyes a bit. Honestly, why go out with a much older man if you still have to work hard to please him!
Surely the pay off of going out with a much older man is that he is working very hard to please you!! So a 13 year age gap is a daddy issue? He was still in your age range! Alot of men dont even have wives or kids yet at that age or are just settling down He cant even be your daddy cause hes 12 or 13 yrs older than you. On another note most ppl over 45 shouldnt show much of an age difference so make that over Your spouse is still a young adult now so no need to worry about that now.
Youre both adults I think its a a little immature for a man over 28 to date a girl under 24 but its nothing that bad hes barely over 35 I know alot of immature guys in their late 20s and 30s that only date and hang around ppl in thier early 20s.
On the latter one of older seeking younger ad 6. And whose doing is that? And yes you can appreciate your dad. Even if it starts out that way, the youngin will grow and realize the folly of youth. Better make sure she has no financial assets to take care of herself. If you are very rich, she will still leave you and collect alimony.
People can find others their own age to appreciate. Unless you are a movie star or famous person, keep dreaming. Appreciation is not a reason to get married. We both care for each other,and we never talk about our age we just live life one day at a time. Does she have the opportunity to become everything she possibly can be in life while in a relationship with you?
I am 31 and my guy is 48, I am a nurse and he is a CEO of a company. When we first met I never asked how much he made or cared. I felt drawn to him and he was so funny and fun. The first night we met I ended up taking care of him because he had got really sick. He was really embarrassed, the following weekend we met up at a 4 day concert event where our love story began.
I usually get along better with people that are older due to my views and values in life. He is better in bed than ANY guy I have ever been with and he loves so passionately.
He is kind, sensitive, smart, caring, and fun! I appreciate this man and love him with all of my heart. I simply feel a deep connection to him and I know he feels the same way. We connect on an emotional level, a physical level, and a mental level. In life that is almost near impossible to find and there are people out there who never get to experience that with someone else. I was lucky enough to find that someone for me. How well two people work together and understand one another. How that person brings out the best in you and wants the best for you.
I could have a guy from many age groups. I go by what is right for me and for my guy. We have ups and downs like anyone else. That is normal. We grow and learn along the way. Life is so short and we are not promised tomorrow.
Others may and have that right to their own opinions. Thanks for the interesting read. What about when he ends up in a nursing home, are you going to be his carer? Now we are both retired and we are closer than ever. My own dad was affectionate with his 3 daughters but it was clear that my mom was his girl. That is what I got. My ex left me for a 22 year md singer and dancer. He was I was shocked that he he married her. She had nothing to give him.
She took my home belongings, had an Invitro baby. I never had closure. May she have the dump of her life. Why are you mad at her and not him? The sense of entitlement this woman displayed was truly unbelievable. But noooo. The Other Woman to whom he could have lied to get her into bed is at fault. Ladies, sure get mad at the woman, too.
The other woman is irrelevant to your anger. If this simple logic is not something you gals can get your arms around, no wonder there is so much dysfunction once a woman gets into a relationship.
Karmic: WOW is right. When did I ever say otherwise?
Apologise, but, 31 year old man dating 45 year old woman apologise, but
Frankly, I blame both of them for their actions. Two people made a choice to betray their spouses and destroy two families. Now both have paid the price for that choice. She is now a single mother with no support and he wants to come home to me but that door is permanently closed. Those are some pretty snide assumptions you are making there, especially considering that I never said anything you could base those on in my comment.
She knew me and our young children. Our kids played together for crying out loud. She is a Narcissistic Gold Digger so, no, she was not some innocent victim that my husband lied to.
I like your posts. Most women on this board vilify uncommitted men commitment phobes, man-children, narcissists, etc. The anger seems so disproportionate to the offender. So you took it upon yourself to inform us of how very deluded we all are without any background information.
I could pluck all kinds of things out of the ether and sound off on you for neglecting to mention them. Now see how silly that sounds? Ditto for the rest of us.
If you actually care how we feel about something just ask before you criticize, unless criticizing is really all you wanted to do in the first place. Please show me where I said that all men must commit to a woman.
Forgive me for not expounding upon the topic to your satisfaction. Only to vilify the other woman, when the MAN - who was in the relationship with you - should be one vilified. All three of you only mentioned all the details after I challenged what was written.
Oh, I vilified him in spades. Was I under some obligation to tell you every tiny detail right off the bat? Do you get to dictate what we share publicly and when?
I took out the majority though admitted not all of my anger on HIM. There is no emotional investment in the woman. She is not someone the wife has a deep attachment to, therefore, it is easier to forgive the guy and blame the outside enemy. Not condoning it, just considering why it might happen. You felt the relevant details was to name call the woman. I would have commented differently had you and Stephan and Sharon wrote with as much anger towards the man as towards the woman.
Duh we can drop this now, right?
Not 31 year old man dating 45 year old woman agree
Have fun. Mine left me for a younger woman as well, after putting us all through total hell for two decades with his drug addiction. That puts a whole different spin on things. A man in his 40s or 50s is likely either married or divorced. Dude goes through a mid life crisis, leaves wife and kids for a younger POA who makes him feel all youthful again.
Too late sucker. No take backs! He stuck with her anyway for a while to avoid being alone but he did eventually dump her. I have to admit that it makes me quite happy to see that SHE is now a single mother too because she left her husband to steal mine.
Karma is a beautiful thing! Walk a mile Derek, then come back and lecture me on my morality. My husband left me after 20 years of marriage to be with a 22 year oldHe is 57 years old.
The longest, best romantic relationship I ever had was with a much older guy. All that said, we were very much in love and it felt like we were equals.
I know that people looked at us and thought things - esp. Well, not rank. And, it turns out, in our lives. But we never talked about that stuff - we were just into each other and our work together.
But it also feels like peace and happiness. I do know many successful May-December couples. The woman is most often the younger, but not always. Gotta get off the internet. My eHarmony guy is gonna call in a few. Not as exciting as Award Man, but very funny, nice. Older guys: higher social value.
I totally buy younger women going for older men. See it all the time. They only plan on being together for 15 years, give or take. Basically a really long LTR or a planned mid-term marriage.
Does anyone have a problem with this? He gets what he wants fantasies fulfilled, feels younger, arm candy, whateverand she gets what she wants that is, a comfortable life.
Right! 31 year old man dating 45 year old woman opinion
Lance, the only problem is at 60, the old guy will not let the 43 year old go. Can she, yes she can but she has to be wise. I am 53 and am on friendly terms with several women in their 40s, who are keenly looking for someone to settle down with. BUT there are plenty of women, desperately lonely, and will do almost everything to have someone love and care for them.
There are many more 40 year old women than there are 40 year old men. In person as well as online. I have dated ages both ways. Someone who most people know of, Sandra Bullock, has just been voted most beautiful woman in the world in some poll and she is a beauty at 51, and another familiar face, Christie Brinkley is a total knockout at 61, but there are plenty of beauties of that age on match etc.
They have lots of experience and many good years ahead of them. I was married for 23 yrs before i found out my wife was cheating, I got divorced, then I met her, her family loves me.