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According to William Cane, author of the The Birth Order Book of Love , your birth order affects your personality, which is directly related to how you interact with other people. Naturally, this will affect your romantic relationships as well. The most common descriptors for the birth order hierarchy are: firstborn, middle or later born, last born, and only child. Researchers agree that each level of the birth order hierarchy has unique traits. These traits derive from the unspoken competition between siblings as they fight for a family niche. They tend to be dominant and controlling in relationships. There are two types of firstborns: the compliant and the aggressive.

What is great about them is that they are very good at compromising.

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They are a good match with a last born, another middle born and an only child. Being the only baby left in the family, with their siblings all grown up, last borns tend to be extra-dependent. The youngest brother of brothers is a perfect match to an older sister of brothers.

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The youngest brother of sisters is suited for an older sister of brothers, and a younger sister of brothers. The youngest sister of sisters is an ideal match with an older brother or a younger brother of sisters. Home Birth Order Relationship Compatibility. Firstborns Older brother of brothers Nearly in every culture, first-born males are treated like a king. Last Borns Being the only baby left in the family, with their siblings all grown up, last borns tend to be extra-dependent.

Jul 9, -Flow Psychology Editor. This is one hell of a couple. The middle plus the baby is a pretty good match. The combination of the middle-who is good at compromising and negotiating-and the social outgoing personality of the last born is the key to a good relationship.

Most people assume that the onlies have the same personality like the firstborns but they could actually develop two different kinds of personalities: Firstborn personalities and last born personalities. Only children are most likely compatible with anyone as long as their partners could actually determine which of the two kinds of personality the only child possesses; then they could have a fruitful and well-adjusted relationship.

Find the goodness of this moment-in a book, in powerful words, in a comforting image, through the writers and artists you love and all that you hold dear.

This will get you through.

Reblogged this on celfie. Reblogged this on The Life of Decci. Psychologists and scientists have studied the effect of birth.

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Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. Last Borns Studies have shown that last born children rate fairly similar to their middle-born counterparts but are also attributed more negative descriptors in keeping with the stereotype of them being spoiled.

Firstborn to Firstborn This kind of blend could be seen a little risky since both are going to fight for dominance. Two last borns must put their heads together and decide who will pay the bills, who will do the shopping, who will cook and clean up, who will take charge of the social calendar, who cleans house, and who is point guard on disciplining the kids.

Notice I said "point guard" for discipline, which suggests that Mom and Dad are a team, but that one of them may have to take the lead while the other one is backup. If last borns don't get a grip and make firm decisions on these practical matters, they can arrive in big-time trouble fast.

Babies of the family have a tendency to forget or assume their spouse was going to do what needed doing.

Apparently, your birth order can predict your romantic compatibility. So instead of going out on a date to see if you like someone enough to be in a relationship with, just ask outright whether they are the firstborn, middle or later born, last born, or an only child. brittleighhhh. According to William Cane, author of the The Birth Order Book of Love, your birth order affects your personality, which is directly related to how you interact with other keitaiplus.comlly, this will affect your romantic relationships as well. The most common descriptors for the birth order hierarchy are: firstborn, middle or later born, last born, and only child. Sep 21,   Birth-order matchups. So, how does birth order play out in your marriage, and how can you use it to strengthen your relationship? To answer that question, let's take a look at the unique dynamics of each birth-order matchup: Firstborn + Firstborn. It's inevitable that two firstborns - perfectionists with a need for control - will bump.

I thought you were going to! Last borns have a built-in tendency to pass the buck and blame to someone else, and who is handier than one's spouse? But if your spouse is last born, guess who's catching the buck and throwing it right back in your face? A counseling device I often use with couples is to sit them in chairs facing each other with their knees practically touching.

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Then they hold hands and talk about their problems. They have one rule: While one person speaks, the other cannot interrupt; and before replying, the one who has been listening has to "feed back" to the speaker's satisfaction everything that the speaker said. Yes, this is a ponderous way to have a discussion.

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But it does wonders for helping spouses learn how to hear each other and understand what each other is saying. That last question might open up the door for practicing more active listening, as long as you avoid being defensive. And that brings us to the next tip:. Now that I've touched on the so-called "best" and the statistically "not so hot" birth-order combinations for marriage, have I left you encouraged or discouraged?

Maybe you're a bit puzzled because you're supposed to have a dandy marriage but things aren't going that well. Maybe you're indignant because you aren't considered a good match and you get along just fine, thank you! So what does Leman know about anything?


All of these discussions of which birth-order combinations make strong or weak marriages follow the same principle that I have been repeating and will continue to repeat throughout this book: When talking about birth order, all general statements are indicators, not rules.

In other words, all these general guidelines are arrows, pointing in a certain direction, but that hardly means that the fate of your marriage has been decided by your birth orders.

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And they aren't an excuse for saying, "Well, it's hopeless. We're both first borns and that means we're doomed to divorce. I know plenty of marriages where two first borns get along very nicely. My own first-born sister, Sally, is an example. She married first-born, Wes, a meticulous perfectionist who is a dentist. You would think that by now Sally and Wes would have picked each other to pieces, but not so. They have built a great marriage around a common faith in God, a sense of balance, and plenty of hard work, and they have three super kids to show for it.

Birth order dating compatibility

So the good news remains the same. Birth order is never a final determinant of anything, only an indicator of problems and tensions that you may discover or create for yourselves.

No matter what your birth order and that of your spouse, what counts is how you use your particular strengths and how you modify or deal with your particular weaknesses.

There is no big mystery in making your marriage work, but it is always difficult. Knowing birth-order characteristics of you and your mate is just one step toward learning how to get along and have a happy life together.

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Another important step is understanding each other's life-style. In the next chapter we'll talk about what happens when a man and a woman try to build a home and family by putting their individual really unique life-styles together. Do I nitpick? Do I find fault with what my mate wears, says, or does?

How often?

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When was the last time I gave my mate a special present for absolutely no particular reason except to say, "I love you"? Speaking of "I love you," when was the last time I said those three little wonderful words to my mate? What is the one thing I know my mate would love to have me do?

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Am I planning to do it this week? Do we worship together?

Birth order seems to be a reliable predictor of personality and romantic compatibility. You can predict the best match for you, and learn how to win the heart of the love of your life according to their birth rank. Birth order is strongly connected to your personality. But as any older child/youngest child couple can tell you, your birth order does play a role in how you give and receive love. Below, Blair and other experts on birth order offer a few examples. Oldest children tend to be intelligent and responsible high-achievers. When they grow up and fall in love, these positive traits usually serve them. The distinct traits associated with different birth orders, some of which are outlined in study in Human Nature, can serve as a gauge for whether or not two people will make a good match.

Or are we like too many couples who seem to have decided that God is like the Edsel, obsolete? Do I take the time to find out what my mate is really interested in? Do I take the time to understand the "ins and outs" of his or her favorite pastime or activity? Published by Fleming H.

Consider, that birth order dating compatibility can

Revell, a division of Baker Book House Co. Reprinted with permission.

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Best-selling author, psychologist, humorist, and radio and television personality Kevin Leman believes your personality tendencies, your business savvy, your perspective on parenting, and your choice in a marriage partner are largely determined by birth order - by whether you are the oldest, only, middle or youngest child.

Buy the book by clicking here. The Christian Broadcasting Network. Subscribe Weekly CBN. Stop "improving" on things your spouse does or says.

To a perfectionist, this may be a real trick, but bite your tongue and do it anyway. The New Testament compares the tongue to the bit in a horse's mouth or the rudder of a huge ship see James This vivid metaphor says it all.

The bit and the rudder control everything, and the tongue can literally determine the direction of your marriage. Stop "shouldering" your mate. For first-born perfectionists, criticism is second nature. Once you quit trying to jump high, you can stop asking your mate to do so as well. Define roles carefully to avoid arguments over control. In other words, decide who does what. One spouse can do the shopping while the other pays the bills and balances the checking account.

What your birth order says about you

Help each other with assigned tasks and try to be considerate and aware of the other's responsibilities. Example: If one spouse does the shopping, the other should not complain about the high grocery bill.

Kevin Leman believes your personality tendencies, your business savvy, your perspective on parenting, and your choice in a marriage partner are largely determined by birth order - by whether you are the oldest, only, middle or youngest child. In today's excerpt Leman tells us which birth order pairs make the best couples and why. First, create a birth chart here. After your birth chart generates, select the "Add a person" link at the top of the report page. Add a second person and get your full Compatibility report. Back to Free Reports Home. Get a full Romantic Compatibility report. Love & Romance Forecast Report. Love outlook for the year ahead for one person. Jan 23,   Let's look at some birth-order basics and discover what these patterns might mean in your romantic relationships. The Firstborn Child Typically, a first child grows up to be a conscientious and achievement-oriented adult who enjoys being in control and strives to please others.

I counseled one couple where the perfectionist, critical husband complained incessantly until his wife told him, "Okay, you shop this week. Get rid of the we've got-to-do-it-my-way attitude.

The old cliche applies: There is more than one way to skin a cat and your way is not necessarily best. One of the best sentences any first-born perfectionist can learn to say to his or her first-born spouse is: "You may be right. Let's try it your way. Some practical suggestions for first borns married to middles include: Make it a point to have regular recaps and discuss feelings and what is happening.

Do not let your spouse toss you a bone by saying, "Everything's fine. Make your spouse feel special. Remember that the middle-child husband or wife very likely did not grow up feeling special, so anything you do-small gifts, love notes, saying sincere little things he or she likes to hear-will touch the heart and strengthen your marriage.

While the following applies to every birth order, it's especially good for the first-born husband of the middle-child wife to remember: Every day women ask in one way or another, "Do you really love me?

Work on drawing out your middle-child spouse. Keep in mind that as a first born your natural inclination is to give the answer, solve the problem. Instead, back off and ask, "What do you think? Middle borns are not only more perceptive, but they like the problem-solving role and smoothing a way for everyone. First Born Plus Last Born Equals Bliss Usually According to one study of three thousand families, the odds for a happy marriage increase a great deal when the first born hooks up with the last born.

How Mama Bear Reformed Cubby Bear It may be a good rule of thumb to say any combination of first born and last born has a better chance for marital success than do other combinations, but success doesn't follow automatically.

Sande was gentle-spirited but firm.

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