Readers can search the Internet and find two pieces of guidance that directly contradict each other. Is Tinder good or bad? Does online dating work or not? Should women ask out men on first dates? Should women pay for the first date? When is it appropriate to have sex for the first time?
For this, you want to check profiles of the Thai girls you come across, and try to see if they have written their interests, hobbies, or just about any information about their lives. From there, try to look for any common ground, something that both of you enjoy. A lot of online matches resulted from the very simple act of asking questions. For example, if that profile of a hot Thailand girl states that she loves watching movies, then you can go ask her what movie she loves the most, or perhaps ask her for some movie suggestions to watch.
Regardless of how mundane your questions might be, always keep in mind that questions will encourage answers.
In other words, they can help give you the chance to open up a conversation. However, as mentioned, try to keep it casual. There are a few good reasons why this works when making the first move online.
First, it makes her feel important and makes her believe that you value her opinion. You might ask which places would be the best to hang out near your place, what events the two of you can possibly go to, etc. Not all women are feminists. Men and women should be seen as equals, but we will always be different. We will always have different needs, contributions, and expectations. Different but equal with different roles that create harmony within a relationship. Feminists all want to act like men and take on masculine roles?
Here I thought feminism was about women having choices, including the choice to embrace traditional gender roles if you want. Then your understanding is wrong. Not shocked at all Misty. Feminism has become one of those terms that people use and interpret for themselves to suit their own needs.
Ok, maybe making "the first move" online is different, but for you guys who wonder why women prefer men to take the lead rather than vice-versa, here it is from a GUY. Other male dating coaches advise against women chasing men as well, in fact, I think an online dating coach calls women initiating one of the "10 ugly mistakes" that. Jun 27, It's actually an excellent means of making the first move without needing to ask too many questions right from the start. Start by talking for a bit; Even though you'll find a lot of hot Thai women in various dating apps and sites, sending them your first message that looks like a date invitation can be overwhelming at times. Women, Don't Make The First Move (And Other Really Bad Dating Advice) In Dating by Debra Fileta June 25, It's very common to hear the dating advice that tells women: don't make the first move. Wait to be pursued, and don't show interest unless interest has been clearly initiated first.
I believe everyone should have the same opportunities and equal treatment. No exceptions. Feminism has hurt our society in many ways. The bad greatly outweighs the good. Thats exactly what Dee gee says about women who want equality but have different expectations for the men they date. See any similarities? IMHO Feminism in large part has destroyed dating and marriage. Walking up to a woman, to talk to her, to ask her out, to date her, is like playing Russian Roulette.
Yes, Misty; which is exactly why I said not all women are feminists in my earlier comment, which you had a problem with. DeeGee basically said all women are hypocrites. I objected. Interesting take on that, Misty. You do though, right?
So, as a woman, I have a right to believe what I want, right? Or do I only have that right, as a woman, when my beliefs line up with yours? Hmmm Interesting. Surely you see the hypocrisy in that. But You have every right to identify as whatever you want. Notice I never criticized women who prefer traditional roles. See how that works? I never said anything about dating problems.
The problems feminism has caused go way beyond that; problems that have greatly affected our society. They do not advocate equal rights. They advocate superior rights. How is that not the very definition of hypocrisy? Once again, my comment to deegee was in regard to him saying all women and I said no, not all women.
That is wrong. Furthermore, feminism has done nothing for me. There was a time when women were respected and revered in our society. Sexual freedom has backfired as well. What was once mostly bad behavior by men is now supposed to be acceptable for women as well. Hence, the expectation of sex very early on without commitment. I could go on Wow, the feminist movement has greatly improved my life and society in general.
Jan 16, Indeed, in typical dating situations, many women prefer that men take the initiative. This perspective is quite common, and may be right for you when dating in person. However, as society evolves to accept more open expression from women and technology progresses, the rules of first contact online appear to be different than those observed in. Aug 23, Dating can be completely nerve-wracking and not everyone is bold enough to make the first move. But if you want to move things forward, someone will eventually have to make the first move . I should've let go of old-fashioned dating rules. I realize now that it's ridiculous to expect the guy to ask the woman out every time because the sexes should be equal, so there's nothing wrong with the woman making the first move.I've even been told by some of my guy friends that they love when a girl takes the initiative and they think it's hot.
How dare I be such an ingrate? Tell me exactly what I was being hypocritical about. Women do want equality. And not just some women. All women. There is no such thing as a women who desires traditional roles anymore. Such as the man paying, reproductive rights, alimony, etc. What if I want to then choose what areas that I treat you equally on?
Do you think I can get away with that as a man? Of course not. It makes you the hypocrite. It has nothing to do with capitalism, inflation or the disappearance of jobs that once supported a family in a middle class lifestyle? Those things were set in place by previous generations. You can choose to live your life however you want; including whether or not you choose to date or remarry or whatever. There are lots of women with lots of different ideas about love and marriage and gender roles, etc.
You have lots of choices. But try to refrain from blaming all women for the current state of affairs. But last time I checked, most family court judges and lawmakers carrying out these rules were male. Have the conversation with them if you want things to change. Period end of story. All the time. Misty, you have to learn how to have a disagreement without personal attacks and exration. The feminist agenda is what brought that inequality into law, which is what the male judges are following.
It will take rational men and women pushing back to get those laws changed back to something reasonable. But I think this is moving off-topic now.
You are perfectly fine with sticking to the status quo. Even though that means women have more rights than men do. Part of my point exactly. Men are pretty basic and easy to please. Women are all over the map. Like I said in another post, dating women is like playing Russian Roulette.
Talk to KK about that. The husband works nine-to-five, pays all of the bills, on weekends he cuts the lawn or does house repairs or goes fishing for a few hours.
The wife stays at home, raises the children, does all of the cooking and cleaning and dishes and laundry and ironing and mending, buys the groceries, keeps the house orderly. Any job that you do while you are in your pajamas is not difficult.
First move dating
Do you consider yourself in that category? Not one of your comments comes across as someone easy to please. Raising children is the most difficult, most important, and at the same time most rewarding job anyone will ever do. I read the rest of your comment and I pretty much agree with everything else you said. There is nothing wrong with a man doing the dishes or a load of laundry occasionally, even if his wife is home all day.
Her efforts and sacrifice should be applauded. I get the impression you think this set up is unfair to the man. And yes, most women in this situation are very grateful to be stay at home moms. But do you know who benefits the most? The children. Having a loving, nurturing mother to take care of them and teach them right from wrong will mold them into good, productive human beings.
I would like to clarify what the book meant by shortage. There are more women seeking post secondary education than men. I just found the book interprets dating pattern data interestingly. It sucks being a 2o something college educated woman looking for a 20 something college educated man in that city. College educated people tend to look for husbands and wives among other college educated people. Women college graduates were less likely to hold rank, with just 65 percent of them marring above the BA line, compared with 78 percent of male college grads.
This probably comes off as misogynistic, but that is not the intent under which I wrote it, and I am not a woman hater. My comments about the subject under discussion are not relevant to how I am in a relationship. To address your concern, when I went to marriage counseling many years ago, the counselor said that I was a very good husband.
FYI the divorce was initiated by me but due to my ex-wife.
The reason why the traditional relationship worked, was because women are typically better at nurturing and men are typically better at physical labor.
A man who is like that is a wimp or a useless person to women though, and to most other men too. Plus I own my own home, where I do all of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, yardwork, and most of the maintenance. To append to my post above.
Doing things like putting the laundry in the dryer, or the dishes in the dishwasher, or watching a movie with the kids, has valuebut it is not work. This is such a ridiculous comment. Do not confuse it with just cleaning up after yourself. Even with just one person it is a lot of work.
You get the idea. And if there are kids in the household? And yes all of them have housekeepers to scrub their toilets, but their husbands are also making well over 10x of what you are making so they can afford it.
Of course it work! I get it. Your ex-wife did something terrible to cause you to initiate divorce, which was a very painful experience.
You most likely live in a no fault state and feel like the family court system hosed you good. Your hurt and anger towards your ex wife has caused you to believe all women are the same. Am I close? I will say this.
Was and first move dating was specially registered
Women get screwed over in the divorce process too. Lots of women. Women are all brats that want equality when it suits them. All that good stuff. My ex who is a narcissist always devalued this type of work. Nor was grocery shopping, or taking the kids everywhere.
Women Do Make the First Move But it may not be the move you're expecting. My friends Suzie and Jake* met at a bar. Suzie had recently broken up with her ex and she was dressed to kill.
Or taxes. Also, my job paid more than his, took more hours per week, and was more pressure. DeeGee, no way is running a household an hour a day. I am happily single now but with a serious boyfriend, and my kids are gone and I spend quite a bit more than an hour a day taking care of my house and personal business.
Suggest you first move dating what
Most I knew worked part time, or wanted to transition to something and did after most of the kids were olderso this period in their lives was of limited duration. But they paid dearly for it, in terms of lost rank in the working world. Most of them made the world a better place for my kids as they were the team coaches, event chairs, scout leaders, ran the pool, managed the swim team, etc.
And some of them did not do well at all in their divorces; they will never make what their exes make, they got little to no alimony, and got to split half of very littleor better yethalf the debt he ran up because they trusted him implicitly with the finances.
As a matter of fact I am. Yes, I am single. And there is no reason why it should take longer. Even if I was living with someone, it would not take any longer for the two of us. Would you like to see photos of my house? How long does it take me to walk downstairs to put the laundry into the washer and dryer?
And then the machines do all of the work. Cleaning the bathroom? And every four months or so, washing all of the lino floors is 20 minutes. My house is cleaner than most stay-at-home moms. I would attach photos if I could, or if we were Facebook friends you could see photos of how I also decorated the house.
I am asthmatic and OCD about cleanliness. Even my socks are folded and sorted by color and type in their own drawer. Everything has its place, and everything is always in its place.
And it only takes me at most an hour or so a day to keep my house in order, including cooking healthy meals I exercise and weight train almost every day. My house order and cleanliness has put some women off, who felt that if we dated that I might be overly strict on them. I have no problems proving it. We must live in entirely different worlds. I live in oil country in north eastern BC Canada near Albertaand the relationship dynamic must be totally different here.
How To Make the FIRST Move on a Girl!
I live alone with pets and do about 5 hours of housework a week. Vacuuming the house - 1 hour. Laundry -1 hour. Doggie bath day is three hours by itself.
When my ex did them it was WORK. My house is large and I have pets, and gardens. Lady laundry is quite different than gent laundry.
I hand wash things, I sort darks and lights, I hang things to dry, I dry some things flat. I have workout clothes, work clothes, lingerie, casual items, sheets, towels. My personal laundry takes at least 2 hours a week. When my daughter comes home, it takes more. I would do 5 to 10 loads a weekend. It forces you to stay home to complete. Planning and cooking good meals, and cleaning them up, also takes a considerable amount of time - when I did it for my family on a weeknightabout an hour to an hour and a half from start to finish, but including dining.
Running a household and raising kids well is very time consuming. I left so much off the list in my prior post too. I received no alimony or child support. In my new life after divorce, I did not pursue my guy at all, and expected to be courted. All the men I dated exhibited courting behavior; but it felt very uncomfortable. It took everything I had not to insist on paying half. Once exclusivity and a real relationship was established, I began to pay for some dateswe tend to alternate paying, and it seems NOT to emasculate him and it makes me happy.
He has been saddled with lifetime alimony for his ex, and I see how difficult that is. But he shows no bitterness, and does what he is required to do. He is such a wonderful man. Most left with nothing, or far less than they should have because they could not afford the legal battle.
DeeGee, your dismissive tone is speaking volumes about you. It sounds startlingly familiar. I said in my post that it takes 30 seconds to walk to the machine to put the laundry in. I stated that I am very orderly, even to the point of folding socks by color in the sock drawer.
Again, you never read my posts. I stated that I work two jobs plus housework including making my own healthy meals because I do weight training and yoga.
Apparently you must have seen the first word of my post or just saw my name tag, got angry because you figured I must be dissing women, and hit that reply button. Then the divorce laws must be substantially different where you are located. And that is too bad and unfair.
Or if they have kids, she gets almost everything. And once again you never read my posts. It never fails to astound me just how myopic some people can be. Most of the replies by most of the women on here make it apparent that all they see me and my posts as, and probably most men as, is some loser guy wearing a wife-beater t-shirt, who sits around all day in his big chair watching sports, drinking beer, beer cans strewn around the messy unkept room, scratching his butt.
Just not today. It may be tiring at times. It may be exrating at times.
It may be many hours of time each day. But it is not difficult work comparatively. Actually yes, I prefer equality and would rather be in an egitarian relationship.
So, when a guy is assertive in his comments, he is confident, but when a woman is assertive she is a bitch? Not to call anyone out, just one of those neat double standards somebody was talking about. No one cares if a woman asserts herself. Those are your words, not mine. I just banned a man who had similar conversational tendencies so beware before you call me a hypocrite. A lamp had been knocked over, the throw rug was against one wall, In the front room the TV was on loudly with the cartoon channel, the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.
In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door. He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife.
Think, what first move dating excited too
He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pyjamas, reading a novel She looked up at him, smiled and asked how his day went.
However, if you do the math. If the woman is minding the kids and doing a great job keeping the house and running errands, etc, that she is ALSO working when the husband is at work. Just simple math. Karmic Equation : Apparently you never read my comments, because I stated before that if the wife works as well, they should both share house chores.
Check your comment under Misty: I said that I was getting off topic from what the blog subject is. Is there a rule that says you now must sleep with a guy on a second date?
Or a rule that says you must work outside of home whether you want to or not? Your view on this subject is highly myopic. This gives freedom to pick partners husbands without monetary considerations, not stay in abusive relationships, and move up the economic ladder. Women run companies, direct billions of dollars of capital, argue cases in court, perform complex surgeries, etc. This change has been great for women, and especially for less affluent. No, Stacy. But if you want to play the game and get technical, now you know exactly what I meant.
I think your views are myopic. Ummm, okay. I can also assure you that me and other women in my position put up with lots of snide remarks and attitudes over the years.
Did it make me change my mind? Would it be nice to live in a world that actually valued SAHMs? It also comes from the gasp feminist. Do I have to reiterate what I said earlier now? That not all feminists, blah blah blah on a spectrum, blah blah You get the point.
Much worse in fact. It happens all the time. So much for living in the land of opportunity for ALL. Well it seems like we can agree on a lot of issues. I have respect for SAHMs even though i am not one and never wanted to be and never will be. For women like me, that would mean staying in relative poverty - i never had access to affluent circles growing up to find an affluent husband, so i would marry lower middle class peer and pinch pennies for the rest of my life. You see? Instead i went to a grad school and had a career, and through that got access to affluent men to find a husband for that matter.
Whether you do one or another has become largely a personal and economic choice, i. If you are from an affluent family, you are probably married to an affluent husband and the two of you can afford one person working and whether you want to be a stay at home mom. May be you will alternate. Visit any affluent suburb today and you will see lululemon moms lunching in the middle of the day.
Those are SAHMs, alive and well. Visit any downtown and you will see working women in the middle of the day. I would think that this is an affirmative action issue more than anything else. Yep, i said it. Choices are good. Please do not misunderstand me on this. We should all have choices. But along with these choices, have also come changing attitudes and expectations of women in our society in general. Women who choose to be SAHMs or God forbid, housewives without children or grown childrenare generally looked down upon and treated as second class citizens.
That includes all income levels. Yay, feminism! Thank you for turning us into men! The overall thoughts and attitudes reflect that. There is more division now than ever seen before in our society. The battle of the sexes. That applies to age, race, religion, whatever. If you think you do, what does that say about you?
I have an older brother. Four and a half years older. It was a nice gesture. I did better than I would have, but I still never beat them. No big deal. To suggest that women or minorities or whatever group does need one is implying that the group is inferior.
How is that good for anyone? And that goes for what you said about affirmative action. This is one of the main reasons we have so much divisiveness. Hell no. I was one for 2 years. That may be the case with civil service exams and police and fire departments, but not medical school.
Thank you for giving me the benefit of the doubt. I have a hard time understanding how anyone could twist that into anything else, but it happens all the time.
My example given was a personal one from someone I know well and I have no reason to believe he would lie to me.
With first move dating opinion you
He and a fellow classmate both applied to the same program. You completely fail to see the entire point of anything I said. I have no hate or derision for SAHMs. If I were to get involved with a woman who wanted to stay at home instead of working, I would have no problem with that either.
And I would not think less of her.
Ok, DeeGee. Fair enough. I apologize if I misinterpreted your comments. More difficult than soldiers fighting overseas? More difficult than ER doctors? More difficult than First Responders? It is a feminist statement targeted at making the world more gynocentric and to minimize the difficult jobs done by other people especially if those jobs have a high percentage of males.
You may not agree with this statement, but that is ok. So most SAHMs are not doing a very good job. I echo what Stacy said below. Hours of free time to look at anything they can find on the Internet.
All that to say that there are still good kids that are being raised right and even though they might be in the minority, the credit goes to conscientious parents who put their children first. And yes, that very much includes the SAHM. Your assertion that black women with inferior GPAs are getting accepted to medical schools ahead of better qualified white men is a myth that does not reflect reality.
When I was a white female pre-med student I worked at a hospital with 4 white male students from my college who were applying to medical schools at the same time I was. Both made wild statements that they were going to talk to an attorney and sue the state university medical school. One of the young men had a record of signing up for a full load of courses each semester and then withdrawing from one or two late into the term.
The student also lacked any job or research experience that might show superior performance in another venue that could possibly make up for being an unremarkable pre-med student. Ironically, this student was the most aggressive one in claiming he had been wronged. The admissions Dean had been in his position about years at that point and he said that in that time, the only rejected applicants who ever requested a review of their file or threatened legal action about per year were all white males with uncompetitive GPAs, test scores, and academic records.
They both graduated in the top quarter of our class and one landed in a top residency training program in a highly competitive specialty. The statistics that they gave to attorneys of potential sue-ees was always successful in heading off any lawsuits because it showed no bias towards any demographic group in the admissions process. As per the Dean, when an applicant is evaluated, the first question that is asked is can this person make it through the coursework and become a licensed physician.
A state taxpayer funded school cannot afford to have students flunking out because they were admitted despite subpar pre-med performance that indicated they were unlikely to get through the program no matter what gender or ethnicity they are. Nor did I say medical schools, plural or white men, plural. I relayed one story about one individual white male and one individual black female.
Secondly, I do not personally believe that women or minorities are intellectually inferior. There are smart people, stupid people, and people in between, and each group consists of both genders and all races. KK if reverse discrimination is such a rampant problem as you claim then explain why white men still hold the overwhelming majority of powerful and influential positions in society. When did I ever make such a claim? I said it was a problem. Saying something is a rampant problem is quite an embellishment versus saying that something is merely a problem.
I see how you and Stacy agree on so much now. She did the same exact thing to Evan by ensenuating he thought you were a bitch; which he never said or implied. I tell ya what. Oh wait. Are you kidding? By who, some trolls on the internet? Trying to figure out someone else's feelings can be totally confusing, but that's why someone has to make a first move so that you two can know where you stand with each other.
If you want to know whether or not someone will make the first move, you can look to their zodiac sign. Your horoscope can say a lot about your character and your personality. Other signs are shy and slow to open up. Aries definitely knows how to get dates and relationships moving. When a Gemini first dates someone, he can be a little shy, but he will eventually open up and feel comfortable making the first move.
He needs to feel completely comfortable before he starts moving the relationship forward. Cancer is really insecure and nervous when it comes to dating. He thinks that putting himself out there to date is SO scary. To help ease his anxiety, you can make the first move and let him know how much you like him.
He loves displaying grand gestures to people that he likes.