She doesn't even approach understanding or remorse about this until season Yes, but both both Buffy and Xander are totally different people in many ways by the time they are both single again in the later seasons. Xander finally does alright for himself in the comics. I watched the show as a ten year old and Xander was my favourite character, he was a bit of a clown like me and I desperately wanted him and Buffy to get together. However, re watching as an adult, I feel like there is a lot more fizz in her relationships with Angel and Spike. Also the friendship dynamic of Buffy, Willow and Xander is so great and well written that I'm glad the shows creators didn't mess with that.
We put up emotional and psychological defenses to protect us in our most vulnerable state. Humans are complex beings.
7 Brutal Dating Mistakes That Turn Men Off
We need to exist in an established social structure the society or community that we live in.