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Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

When virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, society is doomed. Courtship: A man pursuing a woman until she catches him. I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm. Nobody was home. Whenever I want a really nice meal, I start dating again. Benefits of dating me: You will be dating me. I could go on but I think I have made my point.

I have such poor vision I can date anybody - Gary Shandling. Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. People tell me there is plenty of fish in the sea, well that is nice and all but Im human, I dont date fish.

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Soon the weather got bad, driving conditions got nasty, and they had a bad accident. Only one of them survived.

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It was the perfect woman. This explains the accident. Two single women meet for coffee. I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it. I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that. Of course I care about how you imagined I thought you perceived how I wanted you to feel.

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I'm tweeting to tell you I sent you an email explaining my voicemail about the note saying I'm leaving you because we don't talk anymore. Honesty is the key to a relationship.

If you can fake that, you're in. In my 20s someone told me that each person has not one but 30 soul mates walking the earth. Fancy nights out for girls are ten minutes of pure enjoyment followed by like four hours of bitching about their feet hurting in heels. The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him.

A first date gives you only an imperfect snapshot of who a person really is. Her real self-her hopes and dreams, her fears and sorrows-will start to emerge, like a beautiful mosaic, on the second date.

I hope to have one someday. I dated a guy several times and he was always interrupting me. When my friends asked me what he was like, I said he suffers from premature interjection.

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Her: I'm a meteorologist. Him: Cool. I love meat. More Like This?

Funny sayings about dating

Go here:. A day without laughter is a day wasted. Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.

The road to success is always under construction. The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

Jun 14, Funny Quotes. facebook; twitter; googleplus; If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. Dalai Lama. Inspirational, Change, Inspiring. Copy quote. Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. These funny dating quotes are for most everyone - whether you are going to your first date or have been through several relationships. If you are into online dating or are already in a relationship, you will find some of these sayings to be inspirational quotes and others to be full of fun.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month. If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

You have enemies? That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.

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If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid.

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Every day we present the best quotes! Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends.

Whenever I want a really nice meal, I start dating again. -Susan Healy " I date this girl for two years-and then the nagging starts: 'I wanna know your name ' -Mike Binder " I'm still going on bad dates, when by now I should be in a bad marriage. -Laura Kightlinger " Benefits of dating me: You will be dating me. Online dating isn't always a ball of fun - it's actually more like a rollercoaster ride with ups and downs. When you're experiencing those downs, laughter is the best way to pick yourself up. We've compiled a list of 21 funny quotes about online dating (from experts in the industry, comedians, and the jewels of the internet, memes). Funny Dating Jokes "Sincerity is the key to dating - if you can fake that, you've got it made." Funny dating jokes that will hook you up with some hot laughs. Read More. Top 30 Mothers Day Jokes "I finally gave my mom what she really wanted on Mother's Day. I got married." Mothers Day Jokes for mothers and others who love their mothers. Read More.

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Dennis Wholey. InspirationalLifeKarma. Dale Carnegie. FaithTimeMotivation.

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InspirationalLifeHilarious. Alan Dundes. InspirationalChristmasSarcastic. Dalai Lama. InspirationalChangeInspiring.

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