Everything has a value, right? I mean your home has a value, your bank account has one, so it makes senses that people have a value. The higher your value, the more desirable you are. It is a total sum of what you offer in a sexual relationship. Things like your earning potential, how well you communicate, and how sensitive you are, all factor into your SMV. The good news, if you lack in one area, there is always room for improvement. There are several factors that increase or decrease your sexual market value.
Just as I believe that everyone over the age of 18 would benefit from doing some international travel in their lifetime, I similarly believe that everyone over the age of 18 would benefit from doing some form of therapy to gain a greater sense of awareness of themselves.
Going through life without a foundational awareness of your own patterns and wounds is like trying to cook a delicious meal without ever having read a recipe before.
You can build a habit of journaling daily. Or you can try meditation. But, ultimately, our relational patterns and wounds are best reflected back to us by the external mirrors of other people. Whether those people are therapists, teachers, romantic partners, family members, or close friends.
The insights that you will gain in those sessions will be useful tools that will be strapped to your shield for the rest of your life. One of my all time favourite quotes, from Robert Anson Heinlein, is as follows.
In many areas of our lives, it can be advantageous to be highly specialized.
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For example, specializing in your relationships by having your significant other and your five closest friends.
Or, to be highly specialized in your career so that you become an expert in your field and can provide deep value to those whom you serve. But if your life is lopsided in being too much just about one thing, then you may be in a precarious position. I remember reading a study a few years back about how professional sports players had a heightened risk of attempting suicide in the first year after they retired.
It is good, normal, and healthy to have an array of friends. An array of hobbies, passions, and interests. Diversification balance being a wholly integrated person these are not only attractive traits to carry, but are also imperative for the long-term mental and emotional health of our lives.
The greatest downfall of modern romanticism is the idea that one person should be able to meet all of your needs. In theory, this notion sounds wonderful to the part of our mind that wants to regress to a childlike state where all of our needs were met without having to ask for anything, ever. In practice, this is a deeply flawed and codependent mental model that is simply unsustainable, and an exhausting amount of pressure for any one person to ever try to live up to.
Similar to the previous point, we must practice some diversification in terms of who we get our social and emotional needs met by.
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If you expect that your intimate partner will always have the time, energy, and ability to masterfully meet your abundant and varied interpersonal needs, you will consistently be disappointed, no matter how deeply aligned you are as a couple. To take some of the pressure off of your relationship, ensure that you keep up a social life with people other than your partner.
Call me old fashioned, but I believe that there is a certain kind of energetic nourishment that we get when we spend time exclusively with people of our own gender.
Men should spend time with their male friends. As long as their is time and spaciousness to drop in, be honest, and bond with each other over the realities of their lives. Similarly with women.
I believe it is healthy and beneficial for women to maintain friendships with people of their own gender and to have the space in their lives to connect with others who see, value, and support them. And, more often than not, people who have a deep fear of maintaining friendships with people of a particular gender simply have ukeitaiplus.comocessed emotional residue in their relationship to that gender, and there is work to be done. Anyone can be friends with anyone else.
There are no hard and fast rules about men and women being able to be friends or not. And anyone who says otherwise either lacks trust in humanity, themselves, or has some unresolved hurt that they need to look into. This article ended up going more places than I thought it would, but here we are.
Be varied. Do your work. Show up in your life, and your life will give you the results that you deserve.
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Stack your advantages, be realistic about what you offer as a partner, and then work to become even more. Not because it is your doing that makes you a valuable or loveable person, but simply because you will feel the best about yourself when you are in a state of growth, evolution, and expansion. And it is from that place, that you will attract someone amazing. Enter your email address now and get FREE access to my book 50 Powerful Date Ideas, as well as regular ates about my newest articles and offerings.
Search for: Search. Here we go. Are some cities just less dateable than others? What would you recommend for someone like me? Alright deep breaths I have so much to say to this. Alright, here we go. Your real-time results are a reflection of your past efforts. But instead she is hiding behind a wall of excuses and blaming factors outside of her control.
High-Value Behavior #3: Going After What You Want. High-value men go after what they want when they want it. This can - and often does - take the form of approaching women that they're interested in the second that they become interested in them. It's one of the easiest ways to begin showing high-value behavior, but also one of the hardest. Many high-achieving women simply are not interested in Mr Average, says Justin Parfitt, the owner of Australia's fastest growing speed-dating organisation, Fast Impressions. her market value. Dating market value is a measurement of how you stack up against other men in the competition for attracting female interest. Be honest with yourself taking this survey. It will give you a fairly accurate assessment of the quality and number of women you are capable of attracting for a sexual relationship.
What Is The Dating Market? I want to talk to you for a minute about the dating market. Absolutely they do. Your value and your lovability was born with you. And I see the same thing with how people relate to their so-called dream partner. Listen No one is coming to save you.
Second, constantly be improving yourself and find ways to offer more as a partner. So again first, get honest about what you bring to the dating market. Get your finances in order Money is energy.
Become intimately aware of and take total ownership of your patterns and wounds Just as I believe that everyone over the age of 18 would benefit from doing some international travel in their lifetime, I similarly believe that everyone over the age of 18 would benefit from doing some form of therapy to gain a greater sense of awareness of themselves.
Diversify your life aka have hobbies One of my all time favourite quotes, from Robert Anson Heinlein, is as follows. Specialization is for insects. Ideally, we all have some diversification in our identities. Maintain friendships with people of your gender The greatest downfall of modern romanticism is the idea that one person should be able to meet all of your needs.
In Conclusion This article ended up going more places than I thought it would, but here we are. Dedicated to your success, Jordan Ps. Those are the whiney, helpless girls that walk around needing to be saved. Being a high value woman is beneficial for more than just getting guys, too. So know your worth. You have so much going for you and so many men would be lucky to have you.
Once you realize that and start to own it, you will be the type of woman all guys want. As women, we have to work a bit harder to gain the respect of others.
Instead of working for it, just demand it. This is key. You can only fake it until you make it for a little while.
If someone is being bad to you and you know you deserve better, then leave. If a guy treats you with disrespect even once, drop him. You really have to let your standards be known. What are you expecting from your man? What are you expecting from everyone? Your significant other is not your life.
You have to be your own person and have our own hobbies and interests. Passion is very powerful. And this has nothing to do with being in bed together. Having passion in everything you do is far more likely to make people see you as a high value woman. Passionate people give it their all. They put forth maximum effort and show the world they care. You can be a very powerful woman while also being soft and feminine. When you demand respect and do so in a very subtle way, you end up holding a lot more power than you think.
This allows you to be powerful, while also maintaining your soft, feminine side. The next is confronting their innate solipsism. In Girl-World everything is about them.
This proclivity for self-importance and self-aggrandizement in women has been ruthlessly exploited by commercial and ideological interests for almost two centuries now. It is also the key component in the spread of feminism and the embedding of feminist ideological ideas in our social fabric. Feminism and the Fempowerment narrative is just one ct of this Blue Pill for women. But the next hurdle for women to understand a Red Pill praxeology can be distilled to one message Fempowerment teaches women:.
Never do anything for the express pleasure of a man. She is independent - independent of what? She is not dependent on any man, and anything she might do to specifically please a man is antithetical to that independence. Ladies, from the time you were five years old this independence of men message has been hammered into your psyche by everything from popular culture, to your schooling, to your religion, to your single mothers and your Blue Pill conditioned fathers. Understand that solipsism is in your mental firmware.
This is the number one thing you have to unlearn. Men and women are different. Our natures are complements to each other, but we are not equals - and it should be a source of pleasure for you to appreciate and enjoy those differences. Yes, a man must live up to his Burden of Performance in order for you to evaluate his merits. Unlearn the ego-inflation that social media has deliberately instilled in you. And most importantly, unlearn the notion, the pride, of independence from men.
Learn this now ladies, you will never get close to the connection you want to feel with a man until you learn to appreciate him as a masculine complement to your feminine nature. We are better together than we are apart.
[Read: 12 dating stereotypes of women in a man's mind] How to be a high value woman all guys lust after. If you're ready to turn your life around for the better and attract guys all the time, these tips will help you do just that. Being a high value woman is beneficial for more than just getting guys, too. And you always take her side and fight for her. Being a good boyfriend is a very important component to your sexual market value. [Read: 25 signs and qualities that make a guy the perfect boyfriend material] Your sexual market value is the total package that you offer someone in the market for a relationship. Having high self-esteem doesn't guarantee a happy relationship, but it does equip you with the skills to identify what you want and what you deserve to have, and the strength to walk away if something falls short. Here are ten things people with high self-esteem do differently in their relationships: 1.
Was any of that triggering for you? Illuminating women to the reality of their own conditioning is in some ways even more dangerous and difficult than unplugging guys from their own Blue Pill delusions. The female Blue Pill instills this sense of empowerment in women based on false narratives about a straw-man masculinity. Women are the weaker sex. In our ancestral past women and their offspring were dependent on men for protection from a chaotic environment. But in this era, men are weak. Bumbling buffoons.
This is the message the female Blue Pill teaches little girls and old women. To compound this impression of men, women and men are taught that they are in fact blank slate equals of the other. All individuals are really just chaotic, unknowable products of whatever social order constructed them.
There are no natures or differences between the genders - and there are at least 68 of those that we know of, right? The female Blue Pill teaches women that not only are men not to be trusted for security, but that part of that independence from men will be necessary for their own survival.
How to Identify your Sexual Market Value?
This insecurity about men being capable of providing security is the basis of women masculinizing themselves.
In turn, this is the reason all of what I write here and elsewhere is so triggering for women. This is why women resist the awareness that the Red Pill brings to them. It presumes they must drop all their preconceptions about the nature of men and adopt a femininity that is now alien to them. The Existential Fear for women is to invest herself in a man and his progeny who tricked her Hypergamous filters into believing he was Alpha when he was in fact Beta. By flipping the Blue Pill script, by suggesting that women drop the masculine pretense and adopt conventional gender complementarity submissionit is akin to me suggesting she ignore her Hypergamous instincts.
All that said, how can a woman make herself more valuable to a man once the sexual side of the equation is satisfied? They want to be appreciated for more than just being a piece of ass, but in the same world advertise their sexuality as their primary value virtually everywhere.
From a very early age women understand that their primary agency in this life is their sexual value to men - and they quickly learn how to leverage it. Ladies, if you want to be valued for more than your sexuality your going to have to develop actual value beyond your sexuality. Sex is the glue that holds a relationship together.
Learn that, accept that. But once you have that down, what else are you to him? What can you do to expressly please him and what can you do to express your appreciation for him? You must learn the concept of value added.
For women this value comes from an inherent understanding of her own femininity and what it offers to the masculine that it cannot provide for itself or does only with greater effort. Most guys adapt to whatever it is that will get them laid. You can counter this by expecting him to adopt conventional masculinity. It was a shock to my Blue Pill system when my wife expected me to drive her car when we were dating. From the earliest days of our relationship she insisted that I fill the dominant masculine role and she was going to fill the feminine role.
This expectation and our filling those roles modeled masculine and feminine behavior for our daughter who now also has a conventional perspective on gender that most of her peers do not.
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These are just a few of the acts that you can do to manifest your femininity, but they must be part of a genuine desire and willingness to be his complement. You cannot negotiate desire. This primarily applies to sex, but the resentment that comes from obligation also flows over into other cts of your relationship.
You have to want to be feminine. Just as men eventually need to internalize the Red Pill and make that awareness deeper than just the situational, so too must you want to be his complement. He has to be the guy you want to be feminine for. He must be the man whose babies you want to have for him. Women make rules for Beta men to comply with. Women break rules for Alpha men.
Is your desire for this man so significant that you will break the rules that the female Blue Pill has taught you? Will you break with the conditioning that taught you never to do anything for the express pleasure of a man? Even the most staunch feminists confess to loving a dominant Alpha male who exercises his will over her own.
Why do you suppose that is? Will you break the greatest rule you have for yourself and submit to him because you have the genuine desire to do so? Most men never vet women for anything like long term acceptability. They get uncomfortable when the Red Pill Lens forces them to take a better look at their own choices. They also tend to reverse engineering their lack of vetting. A wife who was once his Quality Woman becomes the bitch who turned on him - the living example of all women and their Hypergamous nature.
Likewise, these guys never truly vetted their ex. Now add to all this a religious belief-set that is founded on marriages staying solid foundations of family formation and resistant to divorce thus ensuring contentment and righteous living.
Men will always seek validation in the choices they invested their lives in - particularly in the face of realities that contradict them. Monogamy as we know it is really a tool for low SMV men to socially ensure reproduction and paternity at least in theory. For men the motivation is about quantity. Yes, men love variety in women. Yes, men would rather there be no hindrance to getting to that sexual experience with that variety.
This is why pornography is ubiquitous today, and has always been a motivator for men - unlimited access to unlimited sexuality. Variety and ensured paternity, even if it has to be in the afterlife, is clearly a strong motivator for men. Rockstars and religious zealots all strive for the same goal, they just come to it in different ways.
Men are so motivated by sexual experience that it supersedes the need for food.
Nov 15, When a woman misses the opportunity to consolidate on a confirmed, high SMV (sexual market value) male that man becomes the new standard for what she believes she can attract as a potential mate. "I've had an SMV 8 guy before so in the future no man below an 8 . And by dating market I don't mean the multi-billion dollar industry of corporations (such as Tinder, PlentyOfFish, Match, OKCupid, etc.) that are literally a financial market centred around dating but rather, the actual flesh and blood people that are dating each other in a given society, and how they relate to each other. Aug 12, With a market value of billion U.S. dollars, Apple led the ranking of the world's largest companies in Some of the most recognizable companies in the .
Research shows brain cells specific to men fire up when mates are present and override the need to eat. Take this as you will, but it does reinforce the idea that for men, sex is in fact a biological need.
Left unhindered human Alpha males will opt for securing multiple breeding partners; in some cases sequestering them for his long-term use. Locking away harems in secured compounds is something powerful men have done since our tribalistic past. Secure mates - secure paternity with them. The notion that men and women were ever naturally monogamous is an idealistic social convention. True monogamy in the animal kingdom is an extreme outlier. Most men are not Alpha males. The vast majority of men in this life and in eras past only had sexual access to a precious few women in their lives - if at all.
Even in social conditions that rewarded monogamy and punished infidelity men and women have always found ways to manifest their antagonistic mating strategies.
As few as 8, years ago post agrarianism 1 male reproduced for every 17 females. And as few as 4, years ago women were out-reproducing men. Again, read and make your own conclusions, but the point is human mating strategies find ways to circumvent social conventions. On paper, monogamy is not a bad idea. As a social convention monogamy has been a stabilizing force in human evolution, but it in no way aligns with our innate sexual proclivities.
Monogamy is a sexual strategy that primarily benefits low SMV men because most men will never experience relatively unlimited access to unlimited sexuality outside of pornography. In Red Pill spheres we encourage men to consider themselves the prize. I personally believe that the most important step in unplugging a guy from his Blue Pill conditioning starts by internalizing the concept of Mental Point of Originbut why is this often the most difficult step for men?
Feeling good about yourself is great, but most men want a solution to their sexlessness. Remember, sex really is that important to your male hindbrain.
In the Pareto Principle I delved into how women separate men into different sub-groups. The popularized oversimplification of this goes something like this:. This is a misnomer. Granted, it used to have the good intention of getting men to believe that a small percentage of guys are having sex with a majority of women, and well, it might as well be them, right?
We can see this repeatedly illustrated in various online dating stats and the realities of what Tinder has done to the SMP. Just because a woman wants to get with a twentieth percentile man in no way means she will be getting with that guy. The issue here is the want not the get. Most men live in a state of sexual scarcity. Remember, sex supersedes hunger in the evolved scope of things for men. Most men simply do not vet women for long term compatibility. The nature of our biology and our access to reproductive opportunities makes vetting a hindrance to solving a reproductive equation.
As I outlined in Instinct, Emotion and Reasonour rational process requires time to be fully useful to us. The Instinct and Emotional processes are far quicker in their assessments and immediate effect on us.
While men may innately prioritize reason before emotion, Instinct beats all other processes in speed and efficiency - if not accuracy. We conditions men to prioritize the Emotional process from a very early age.
Again, all this makes actually vetting a woman for intimate acceptability almost offensive to the average Beta man today. There is a social ct that comes into play with respect to men pairing up with women.
How to keep a man in 6 simple steps 1. Learn how to cook amazing dishes 2. Be feminine long hair, makeup, nails etc 3. Don't nag him over trivial things 4.
High dating market value
Be debt free 5. Don't be a single mom 6. Know how to please him in bed. The idea that there is a man somewhere on planet earth who would voice his conditions for intimacy with women is unconscionable in gynocentric society.
But why? That a Beta male would ever hold conditions for his commitment triggers indignation in women. Even Alpha men must never put terms on their commitment; men should feel blessed that any woman would have them. When Beta men reflexively default to social self-deprecation around their wives or LTR we see this social convention confirmed. This is the intersexual poker game women play with men on whole. Entitlement, solipsism, anxiety over optimizing Hypergamy, all that competes with the foreknowledge that her attractiveness will decay over time.
Men often acquiesce to the mindset that they ought to feel fortunate that a woman would ever have them. They also foster this necessitousness in other men, usually as a form of Beta Game. This endemic sense of metaphysical gratitude is what prevents men from even considering having standards for women. It also polices other men from holding standards themselves. How dare you be so arrogant as to expect a woman to live up to your demands? Just be glad the gods took pity on you and granted you a wife when so many Incels are at home with dick in hand.
Tsk, tsk. Today we expel boys from school for making lists rating the girls in their classes.
In a fem-centric social order only women are allowed to hold standards. This fact is a manifestation of a larger power dynamic between the sexes today. A list of qualities a woman should have to please a man, to hold his long-term interests, goes viral and makes the evening news. Prove your quality. Always bear in mind, women break rules for Alpha men and make rules for Beta men. But on a social scale it helps maintain the power imbalance if even Alpha men believe the same mythologies as Beta men.
This essay is the first in a series meant to establish a hierarchy of relationship needs that men might consider to help them accurately vet the women they allow into their lives and to enact these standards. Why is this socially acceptable? This is just one example, but so long as the character is definably a Beta in comparison to definably Alpha male archetypes in the story permission is granted to ridicule him by exploiting his greatest weakness; a kick in the nuts.
Only Beta men deserve to have their balls kicked as a confirmation of their sexual selection status. Attacking a woman sexually is tantamount to rape, so flipping the gender script in this instance is a non-starter with comparisons in the movies.
If we look at the popular fiction of this era - the Avengers or Star Wars franchises for example - we can see the death of conventional masculinity played out in the erasure of Alpha male characters. Earlier this year I read a story about a staged protest by a Russian feminist girl who poured what we were told was a mixture of bleach and water onto the crotches of men who were manspreading on a subway train.
With a critical eye you can sort of tell this was staged. And, of course, she designed a companion chair that encourages women to spread their own legs. Men with legs spread is a natural, often subconscious, Alpha posture.
Why not simply ask him to close up a bit? Why is pouring water bleach on his crotch an acceptable punishment? Why is a hit to the balls a reflexive retaliation? Why is it that Starlord gets kicked in the balls and we laugh?