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A person who prefers to hide theirself from society. Syd Barrett of Pink Floyd is a recluse. Someone who hide away from society. A type of spider which jumpes out from a hiding place and kills its prey.
Damn Jim your such a recluse. I saw a recluse kill a mouse yesterday, it was awesome. Lord Recluse is so evil, I want to be like him when i grow up.
An individual that excludes and keeps to himself during the Winter season, much like a bear hibernates throughout the cold weather. In order to have a better understanding behind the concept and social issues behind this type of person, attempt to analyze: Plan B-The Recluse, Nero Remix Accept this person as they are, they will come back when they are done reclusing.
Jameswho I know from playing games with Online is a recluse. Eggs Danny Thomas Meat Beating Pongoes Shukran For some, being alone feels more comfortable than being around other people. Some of them enjoy entertaining their own thoughts and hobbies without the obligation to contribute to conversations or happenings of others.
Their privacy may be more important to them than any need to share the details of their lives. They have spent much of their lives catering to the needs of others, and they feel a need to step away from all that and just relax and enjoy a peaceful existence.
In some cases, the prospect of sharing stories of their life tenses them up, and they want to protect their privacy. Whenever they share private information with others, they often regret it. Many of these people may become reclusive because they feel inadequate. They can't imagine why anyone would find anything they have to say interesting.
The whole idea of being around other people who ask questions of them causes them more anxiety than joy. Staying inside their own home makes life easier for them. Some people know that nothing they say or do will change the past.
Therefore, they mistakenly believe that sharing their feelings about the past serves no purpose. Other people know that what they have to say will make a difference. They want to share it with the world. However, they either fear that speaking out will make them more vulnerable or that they are the ones who repeatedly tugged on their mom or dad's leg as a child only to hear, "Not now; I'm busy. Parents and teachers are busy people and sometimes, they have to give someone else their attention.
However, the child internalizes this as a belief that their voice lacks importance. Throughout their lives, people unknowingly speak over them because they also have something they want to be heard. However, that is little comfort to the people who have questions, answers, or statements reeling around in their brains with nowhere to go.
Other people stay inside because they can't afford to do anything that interests them outside the home. In the beginning, their friends invite them to places, but they have to decline because they don't have the funds. When this occurs time and time again, most friends figure they already know the person will not join them; therefore, they stop asking. The reclusive person becomes more accustomed to doing things alone in their own surroundings. The longer some of them spend away from other people, the more uncomfortable they feel when they have to be around them.
However, some of these people maintain friendships and feel perfectly at ease when they visit. The need to feel safe in a world where there's no guarantee of security against foreign or domestic terrorists or violent criminals such as stalkers or muggers causes some people to choose a life of seclusion.
Ironically, the good people who would never bring harm to another human being become prisoners in their own homes while the people who do bad things or threaten to hurt or kill another person or people walk around freely.
Unfortunately, laws designed to protect people from others who threaten them rarely incarcerate the perpetrator for any significant amount of time. In fact, in most cases, the laws provide more protection for the criminal than they do for the victim. Many victims would venture outside more if the perpetrator was locked up. If the perpetrator was locked up in a state far away and not allowed to ever leave that state, victims of that perpetrator might be able to function outside the home.
Whether the desire to be reclusive stems from comfort or fear, it's important to weigh the risks and benefits of getting out in the world or staying in and to analyze which choice, if any, could be looked back on with the least amount of regret. Some reclusive people simply need somebody to help them see the beauty of who they are.
They need somebody to hear their voice. Whether they yell at the top of their lungs from a podium or they sit alone in their home writing onto a notepad or typing into a computer, what they have to say matters to somebody somewhere.
All people have a story. Their experiences continually change who they are and who they are destined to become. Every page of their lives has the substance to teach, heal, or entertain. A mere chapter of their story could, potentially, change a life, or, maybe even, make the world a better place to live in. Writers, sometimes, become reclusive because sharing their knowledge or wisdom becomes an obsession.
A friend stops by to ask if they want to go out somewhere and they shew them away; saying, "I can't go right now. I'm in the middle of an important article," or, their phone rings and they quickly stuff it under their pillow.
Their life and everybody in it become distractions. Their ultimate goal of getting their point across releases them from feelings of insignificance and worthlessness. They imagine that what they've shared on paper or screen makes something easier for someone to understand, or helps somebody feel better, or makes another person smile or laugh and they like it.
They like working on pieces that entertain their audience. Leaving their mark on the world trumps experiencing more of it. They like the idea that things may be better for future generations because of something they wrote about.
They like spending all their time working on making the people of the world more aware, healthier, or happier. They like being a recluse. People choose or feel forced into reclusiveness for other reasons as well. A common misconception is that they sit around in a catatonic state and do nothing or that they are all feeling sad or lonely.
Some people may be experiencing a deep depression. It's possible that they slipped into the depression over a long period of time, and they don't realize that their desire to be alone is a result of that. Therapy may help them make changes to feel better. However, many people who choose a reclusive lifestyle live productive lives doing exactly what they want to do.
They feel happy and content. Many of them run businesses from their homes. Some may concentrate their time on being more relaxed and less productive, but if they are happy and content with where they're at, they are in a better place than many people who are rarely alone yet feel lonely often.
Some reclusive people may seek therapy because they want to become more social beings, but they don't know how to feel safe or more comfortable in the process.
Therapy may help people who want to mingle more with others or feel safer outdoors. Each individual has the right to choose and options to change if they desire to do so. Privacy and comfort appeal to me as contributing reasons for a more reclusive existence. Is a reclusive lifestyle an all or nothing proposition?
I could see myself being happy for extended periods as a recluse but wanting to be around others on occasion even if I was not interacting directly with them, e. I think it's healthy for people who choose to be reclusive to at the very least get out among other people occasionally and have positive interactions with other people even if virtually at least once a week.
Many reclusive business people who either consider themselves recluses or have been labeled by others as such still interact with people, often daily, to conduct the business they do. Sometimes even people who enjoy being alone become depressed or anxious if they go too long without human contact so it helps to either get out or have somebody over once in a while or when negative feelings creep up. My friend has been through a lot, and she's extremely reclusive.
She has boys chasing her all the time, but she never drinks and never goes out to the club or parties. She always wants to be at home. She never wants to talk. She has no motivation for anything. What's wrong with her? You say that she's been through a lot. Has she talked to you about those things? She may not realize how much a therapist could help her work through her thoughts or social awkwardness if those are things keeping her isolated.
It's great that she has a friend like you who is concerned for her and trying to help her enjoy life. Could it be that she's just not into the bar scene? Maybe suggest going bowling or to the movies or ask her what she would enjoy doing outside of her home. Therapy might help, but it's sometimes difficult to convince somebody to talk to a therapist.
From one parent to another, what I would do in a similar situation is look for something outside the home that my daughter and I could do together once a week.
I'd let her know that I really want to spend time doing fun or exciting things with her. I'd start with something fun like a trip to an amusement park or a dance class if she likes dancing something that both of us have to put our phones away for.
For ongoing weekly outings, maybe we could find a cause to work on together like becoming adult literacy tutors or volunteering at a children's hospital or maybe set up a bunco club with people of both our age groups, go to the show every Sunday, or take a culinary class together.
I might see if my sister and niece want to join us on some of these outings to give her someone her own age to talk to. My partner has become a self-loathing recluse over the last five years.
He won't answer calls, texts or the door for even his family, who now blame me. How can I help him? Talk to him to let him know that you care about him and you want to do what you can to help.
Let him know you will listen with an open heart and you would like to be part of a plan to bring him happiness. Suggest seeing a therapist who might be able to get to the root of what's wrong and how to combat it. Invite him to gradually participate in outdoor activities with yourself at first and then maybe another couple and eventually maybe family members.
Are absolutely recluse dating simply
Start with short periods of time close to home such as a two-hour barbeque in the backyard, and if that works well maybe have another one the following week and perhaps make a date to travel a little further with another couple the week after that. I have Prolonged Duration Traumatic Disorder, and I am constantly being let down by the NHS who wrote today that they are withdrawing support because I do not trust them.
What do I do? You should talk to your general practitioner or another medical professional to find out what your next step should be. They may steer you in the direction you need to go with medical personnel and also ask if they know of other resources that may help you along the way.
I've become reclusive from my fear of losing everyone and becoming lonely. I figured if I'm alone then I can't lose anyone. But, I've become lonely not from loss, but from isolation. What should I do? Go out and meet people; have some fun; and appreciate the time you get to share with them. Don't worry so much about things you have no control over. It's really tough to lose people we love but it's tougher to live life without love and to look back at time wasted alone that would have been better spent with caring people.
Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites. I have spent years of my life caring for others and helping them because i was a nurse and also my nurturing nature.
I was severely abused as a child by my grandmother who ultimately tried to kill me. I used to spend hours in the closet in my bedroom to keep myself safe. I find now with the pandemic and masks and lock down that I refuse to go outside and wear a mask. In fact I am now afraid of going outside.
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I was hospitalized for a long period for a wound infection and when I was discharged the virus was here. I was well ahead of the social distancing curve at time as I has a wound vac attached to my thigh for 2 months. I am afraid I am being a recluse. My family of origin has at least three people who became recluses in the full sense of the word. I was always a loner who pushed myself to be more sociable.
I was an introvert even as a young child. It was normal to me and still is. I always preferred being alone. I do stay home a lot more now. Living as a recluse makes me happy. I can do whatever I want. I work from home and do have to interact with people on the phone, which exhausts me. People drain me. Pretending is painful. I do still talk to family on the phone and force myself to spend Thanksgiving with them, but I find it becoming harder to do so.
I speak to a few friends still but rarely see them. I just like the peace and solitude and safety of staying alone. Former therapist Yet, can definitely relate to many points in the article from the codependent reliance on others to the difficulty managing my own insecurities from resurfacing past childhood traumas.
In therapy, myself, now thinking a career change is in order in my mid's. I think I have a recluse mother, but I am not sure. I travel abroad most of the year. I come to spend time with my mom when I am off and she hugs me tight and says she misses me and we have dinner.
Then she goes in her bedroom and closes the door for the rest of the night. The next day, I hear her TV on but door is still closed. I will knock on her door to talk to her but we talk though the door.
It is a tough situation for me. I don't understand. Anyone, can you share thoughts or ideas?
I'm with the others here that prefer the solo life and live it purposefully. I don't regret becoming a recluse at all. In fact, I very much enjoy the reclusive lifestyle. Like others here, I'm also a minimalist and own shockingly little for my age. The less I have, the lighter and better I feel. I moved to the outskirts of a small town with decent grocery stores and medical facilities. The world can be an incredibly tough, brutal, cruel place, which is something I learned and internalized at a very young age.
I feel extremely fortunate to finally have the means to be a recluse. Like others here, even though I would have preferred solitude, I did my best to fit in, which was advantageous to everyone but me. The only time I speak to anyone these days is at the grocery store and then only when required.
Have hit recluse dating yes
I cook and eat all my meals at home. I venture out only at times I know there will be the fewest of others about. I do what I want when I want and there's no one there to control, criticize or judge. I love taking solo drives out to the middle of nowhere. I love walking alone. I love reading and writing. I love living my austere, minimalist solo life. To each their own. I am a recluse and just stumbelled upon this page. I have PTSD, prolonged phys, emotional and sexual abuse over 20 year period.
I used to be out going and loved having friends and enjoyed a social life. I just feel that I am not doing the norm, but I don't mind being alone. I have a cat. I read, and watch some T. I am a recluse and became so during the last years.
Recluse dating something is. Thanks
It is my time, to do what I want when I want and not be interrupted by others. I have rescue animals who love me unconditionally, that is all I need, I can listen to the music I want, watch the channel I want, hold on to my money and not spend if I choose. I am different, I have spent my life trying to fit in, mingle only to be advised to be different from my true self so that I better fit in. Work was hard, people giving advice on how to be to be part of the team. It should have been the other way round, they should have been more accepting of peoples differences.
I have been told to go with the flow, I am not a dead fish so I do not go with the flow. In order to protect my integrity, I have had to step aside from society to be true to myself. I can go back into society if I choose, I have the knowhow but I choose not to, there is much to be enjoyed in a solitary life. I love my family from a distance, they live their lives as they choose but it is not my way.
I live my life my way. I've countless times rejected by people because of who I am. I've Come to a pint in my life where I don't wanna be around people and make excuses. And when I do socialise I forget how to even make a conversation Even with someone I know. I know I need help. I have become recluse more every day since my wife passed of terminal cancer. We were always together 38 years and able to travel a lot. Now living alone in a house to big for one person has major issues.
I stay home a lot alone, I do shop, eat alone out or in. Lot of cleaning for myself. I built it new for her. I'm afraid to move to a beach condo or another place by myself.
I have nobody but myself.
Pity, that recluse dating completely agree
I retired early to take care of her the last 10 months. It was horrible, I know people die but this was not to happen. Now I have nothing, can't trust anyone. Just looking for a good friend to travel a bit but there is no bond or trust. I'm to old to play games with insecure people and pretty much glue myself to the house. I have a 87 year old mother who I take care of remotely and see her twice a month for doctor visits and lunch. I sometimes wish she would pass so I can pass myself. I don't trust or believe in God, only myself and my dead wife.
It's getting worse and worse. I do have a better understanding why someone like me can become recluse in there life. I was always open and ready to go anyway, now I don't want to even see a neighbor. It's a miracle and a blessing that you made it through all that. I'm glad you're still here. Thanks for the input on my article. I appreciate it.
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Home life wasn't great and resulted in further isolation. In my 20s, I did a completebecame outgoing despite my discomfort, sought the company of others at any cost.
Younger, i would go so far out of my way to be friends wth someone, believing that was what i was supposed to do, though i was being used, but this absolutely EXPLODED in my 20s and i had a rough time of it when realization hit and life got real was a victim of a violent crime, was a caregiver to a family member, still dealing with an unstable immediate family, blah blah blah, life.
I think your article hit some interesting points, though I think on the part where you focused on writers it could have been expanded to all those who want to leave a legacy of some kind.
Also, there should be a distinction between people who choose to be alone and maintain a healthy frame of mind and those who are struggling and need those prompts you offered as advice. If someone did that to me today, albeit well-intentioned, I'd be thoroughly irritated and question whether the person understood where I was coming from.
I understood those initiatives are well intended I realize people are gregarious, but the people I have worked with, and suffered with, have been mostly sociopaths, narcissists, and harassers, including those in my own family.
I wonder how it would be to be finally alone, and able to see to my own goals without sociopathic interference. I just wonder. I have always been a reclusive loner. It would get much worse after my beloved mom died in my arms. I developed ptsd and got over it 9 months later. Now 3 yrs after moms death I want nothing to do with anyone but God and my pets I have no need for peopletheir drama and bs.
I have no problems living alone for I am never alone God is always with me. It is far better to grow old alone than be hurt by people and i guess in my case people just hurt me too deeply. Everyone in my family only wanted money no one gave a care about mom which made it so much easier for me to walk away from them all I enjoyed reading these and identify with some.
I'm an efficient person and my own version of a minimalist, I don't spend much on parishable goods. Anyway, I don't leave because and live remotely because I equally avoid criminals and law enforcement.
They both give me anxiety and in my view are generally one in the same. They both want something from you and I want to be left alone. I have always had a reclusive nature. I do have anxiety and have had agoraphobia when I had my family I was a bit more outgoing. I did travel for about 4 years.
Mom lived on almost 19 more years and I helped her as much as I could. I am emotionally tired and just tired of drama all family ties have been cut I like to walk and have my indoor hobbies and prefer quiet and solitude.
I do visit with a friend a couple of times a month. I never watch news and don't keep up with the times.
I am impressed with your insight on the relation to humanity and being a recluse. I personal being a recluse observe a freedom and have a relationship with God as written in the Bible.
I find that having faith in a higher power delivers me through the recipe in the book. The greatest weapon Satan has against us; is us. And if he can cause you to use you against you, through lonely moments, depressing thoughts, hurtful memories, he has the battle half won. We have to keep the focus that just like life itself, these low human emotions will pass. So sorry to hear your friend went through that. My condolences on your loss.
It's difficult for friends to know what to do when their attempts to include someone they care about are brushed off so to speak. It's definitely important to interact with others or depression will get the best of you.
I found this interesting.
Often times a person who rather than being crazy, is merely beyond tired of and fed up with the blatant narcissism, rudeness, ignorance, stupidity, cruelty, fakeness, hatred, etc. of the human race and chooses to detoxify themselves from the vices societies are swimming in to a greater extent than most. Often times recluses have been known to possess extraordinary genius, talent, and/or vision. Thank you for considering Recluse holster to meet your pocket carry needs. Tod L. Cole. Customers Testimonials. Tod, I cannot tell you how please I am after receiving my 2nd Recluse pocket holster. Like many gun owners, I have a drawer full of cast away's which I accrued in my attempts to find the perfect pocket holster. Both the TS-Solo and. At the moment I am dating someone and actually it disturbs my reclusiveness in a way I'm still not sure whether I like it. I keep telling myself that the older we get, the harder it is to adjust to another person in our lives. Especially for those that love to be a recluse. I am happy to read form a likeminded person, thank you for sharing.
I had a friend who was a recluse. She fit your explanation perfectly. It was always difficult getting her to join the rest of us in our circle of friends.
Whenever she would be invited to join us she would come up with an excuse. Unfortunately she eventually died at an early age. I think she went through a severe depression. I feel sorry for her. It shows how important it is to get out there and be with people. I have been a recluse for over 10 years. I only go out when I absolutely have to.
I like being alone. I like being alone with my own thoughts. I don't get bored and I don't get lonely. I live alone with my adult son. I don't watch the news. I don't care about what is going on in the world because its always nothing but cruelty and disaster. Besides, I cant fix it so I don't see the point. Most of my life I have been a caregiver not only with my own family but as a profession.
This world has done despicable things to humanity over land, money, religion, addictions, lack of empathy and race. I love being by myself and living in solitude. After abuse issues I cannot trust people. I am giving and they use me. I share my thoughts and they use it against me. My family has lied and stolen from me. I have few friends and thankful for them.
It's better alone where I paint and dream and not be punished for it. I have my stray animals and they love me. Dear Opting Out, I have a friend who's a prison guard and I've heard some stories of the repulsive things some of the prisoners do and also some sad stories about things some of them experienced.
I imagine it's difficult to leave the frustration at the office so to speak. However, somehow she seems happy and puts a lot of her energy into raising well rounded kids. That's always been her number one priority. She has five kids and the youngest has just entered college. Perhaps you know of another guard at your work who might be able to tell you how they manage to keep the two separate. I was a young girl once and I sure loved my Dad and wanted him to be well. I'm sure your daughters feel the same way about you.
We used to sing songs together and I hope he knew how much those times would mean to me for the rest of my life. I think singing together also helped him lighten up from his work day. When you see their smiles, you'll feel appreciated and maybe your wife will start showing her appreciation for you too. I wish the best for you and your family and I hope you will seek out a counselor or someone to help you all live a happier life. Take Care.
I'm rooting for you. Just read most of the posts here and could not agree more. I am 43 years old and have been a jail guard for 21 years. My daily environment at work is depressing to say the least. I am married with 2 young daughters and an ungrateful wife.
I try to escape every day just to be alone with my thoughts. This is my second marrage and will be my last. I avoid people at all costs to avoid conversation. I see the worst of society every day and just want to be in my own world.
I also find having less is better and have become a minimalist. For those who share my my views of tuning others out and just focusing on you I say good luck. These days I feel any time alone is time well spent. Ambercrombie, If you're feeling stressed and anxiety you should definitely talk to someone about it.
Shutting yourself off from others at times like this only add to stress and anxiety. Sometimes a mere walk or ride with a friend can help inspire people to laugh a little and let go of the things bringing them down and then they can work on finding things to bring them up and make them feel better. But my stress and anxiety has gotten so overwhelming that it confuses me on making basic choices or decisions on how to deal with everyday life and my surroundings in a way that the "me"a year ago wouldn't dream of being or doing.
Serious need of mental tlc I think. I have been very reclusive,for the last few years. I have very little contact with my children since my divorce many years ago, and when I did, there was only friction involved, so I went my own way.
The best thing I ever did. No more nastiness, or back biting. I love my life now, I still go out doing my own thing, but have really little to do with other people.
My friends who I thought were friends, since my divorce are long gone. But I can live without them. I have an old country house and spend my days doing things to improve it. When I go out all I really want is to get back to it. My safe haven of solitude. I really cannot be bothered with people, anymore. A short discusson, or chat now and then is ok.
There is nothing wrong with being reclusive, as I now have a better life than I did before, and am enjoying every moment of it. Thanks for sharing your experiences "His Highness".
I know how you feel about wishing you would have figured it all out earlier in life I'm always saying "if I only knew then what I know now".
Sometimes when I think I got it all figured out I get in a slump and I have to pull a and just change things up for a week or two and get back to being me. Knew I was different than the other kids at the age of six, but struggled as to the reason why.
So did a couple of my teachers. Great grades but little success in personal interactions. Great career success but zero long term meaningful relationships. Didn't figure it out until I was in my 40s.
Now, I'm a total recluse and staunch minimalist. I don't even pretend to enjoy social interactions anymore. I know who I am, but it took a loooong time to figure it out as there's always a push and guilt associated with not being social enough. The more social interaction I have, the worse I feel. Nothing makes me happier than solitude and some good reading material. Cities make me ill so I moved to one of the states with the lowest population density and got as rural as I possibly could.
The more stuff I own the worse I feel. I have a chair and a bed and that's the totality of my furniture. I'm considered wealthy but you'd never know it as I own very little and drive a 14 year old vehicle.
My entire wardrobe would fit into a couple of medium sized kitchen cabinets. Luv being a recluse and feel most fortunate to be able to maintain this lifestyle. Minimalism makes me feel great too.
But, of course, like everything, that comes at a price. For some it's worth it, but the recluse decides that masturbation and perhaps brief sexual encounters are, net, better. Nov 15, Erica Loberg. Erica Loberg was born and raised in Los Angeles, CA. She attended Columbia University in New York and graduated with a BA .
I do wish I figured these things out about myself earlier in life however. I have become a recluse due to abuse i had to endure from a ex his family my family.
Thanks for sharing Nelliemy lucky number, lol. I hope you find the peace you're looking for. I'm glad you have others who inspire you to open up. Am very content with locating this site. Was innocently thinking my thoughts of being able to find comfort in life [recluse] were mine alone. I am at the December of life, and been anxious, upset, honestly afraid, and fed up with having to put on a front that all is ok. I felt while being over wrung with intrusive thoughts, a peace of sorts, when thinking what if I didn't know certain things happening outside my realm.
I am not mentally deficient, thou do suffer a case of depression for years. Not so sure it is chemical, as compared to my fight to accept happenings in life, that as it goes on have been horrific enough for anyone to doubt me. My decision is to start with as much as I can do to protect myself from outside influences. I find comfort when alone, in my condo.
I will be here as humanly possible. Not making calls to family and friends, as can't infringe on my peace, with news I don't want, though, thought relevant, by some.
Not to say I won't accept any calls, deemed necessary [children] to my well being, but ready to cut short, if I find disturbing. I am off on my new [I feel peaceful life] to give it a choice try. For my overall wellbeing, need to know how to live as a human being, not feeling the trouble and absolute bad in the world, I am at my end, seeking comfort, and hope this is it.
Bless anyone who understands my situation, and thanks to Cathy kit, and Angefor inspiring me to share, getting my feelings of a long time, exposed, is a catharsis.
I get along with people very easily when I'm in those situations, but because I know I'm ugly, there's no point talking to women. They use me socially to benefit their lives, but what do I get? Why bother. I am reclusive. Go out - come back quick! I worried about the change in me and had two sessions of anxiety management and gave it up. I couldn't deal with opening up to the group? Mistrust I suppose.
I do have melt downs. But do you know I feel safe and ok in my house and love my family and enjoy cooking and making 'their' lives great.